I just read this over on instagram and had to come over here to subscribe and let you know how much I appreciate you putting words to this experience. I still struggle to do so at 31 but every swipe brought more clarity to a childhood I hadn’t been able to construct the language for. My meltdowns got shut down at 8 but came back to life at 19 and continued until I was 29. It took 10 years to even identify what was happening and then try to find the safety to even begin to regulate. The dedicated day in and day out practices we have to learn when all we wanted was explanation and to feel safe and included. I am grateful for the words you put to the ADHD experiences you have because every time I read your words on instagram I feel seen. I can read them and say to my little self “see…you weren’t the problem. It wasn’t just you.” And I can relax a bit more each time.
Thank you for helping me heal by sharing your story and your insight and wisdom and all the experiences you do. It means the world to me and I cherish each post. You are the adult I wish I knew when I was younger and with the healing that takes place I too get to become more of the adult I wish I had when I was younger and it has helped me to be able to do so for others as well.
Your words ripple far and wide and I couldn’t go one more life changing post of yours with out letting you know that and letting you know how much I appreciate you and the way you write is everything I needed then and now 🥰
My heart is so full 🥺 I’m so grateful that my words make you feel seen. It is my biggest hope when I write and share that these ideas and perspectives will help someone, even if that someone is just me—but to know that they resonated so deeply with another soul who has walked a similar path invokes so much gratitude in me.
My grandson has severe ADHD and was having almost daily PDA-like meltdowns when he was 3,4 and 5. Luckily his dad, my son-in-law is GENTLE and understands his son. They sought help and got good advice, and did the research. He's coming along, as are we: we give choices, and almost adult-like explanations about why he ought to do as we say. As grandma, I do laundry and housework for them when I babysit his napping younger sister so that they (my daughter and son-in-law) can reserve their inner resources to being effective parents. Thanks for this honest, heart-breaking (yet hopeful) essay.
This is so beautiful to read. Choices and adult-like explanations were everything I needed as a kid—it would have made such a different to have been met with patience and understanding instead of dismissive control. Thank you for sharing this, and thank you for your kind words.
OOF. GenX late diagnosed AuDHD here and I feel this so hard. I grew up in the 70s pre-Dobson with parents who were very much parenting from the 1940s authoritarian playbook. Finding and reparenting that feisty nerdy little girl again. I raised my own neurospicy daughter very differently, gave her as many appropriate choices as possible, and she is feisty and thriving as a young adult. ❤️
I think it’s so beautiful to be able to give your daughter the childhood, the support, the understanding that we didn’t receive. I’m so sorry that this was your experience too.
I just read this over on instagram and had to come over here to subscribe and let you know how much I appreciate you putting words to this experience. I still struggle to do so at 31 but every swipe brought more clarity to a childhood I hadn’t been able to construct the language for. My meltdowns got shut down at 8 but came back to life at 19 and continued until I was 29. It took 10 years to even identify what was happening and then try to find the safety to even begin to regulate. The dedicated day in and day out practices we have to learn when all we wanted was explanation and to feel safe and included. I am grateful for the words you put to the ADHD experiences you have because every time I read your words on instagram I feel seen. I can read them and say to my little self “see…you weren’t the problem. It wasn’t just you.” And I can relax a bit more each time.
Thank you for helping me heal by sharing your story and your insight and wisdom and all the experiences you do. It means the world to me and I cherish each post. You are the adult I wish I knew when I was younger and with the healing that takes place I too get to become more of the adult I wish I had when I was younger and it has helped me to be able to do so for others as well.
Your words ripple far and wide and I couldn’t go one more life changing post of yours with out letting you know that and letting you know how much I appreciate you and the way you write is everything I needed then and now 🥰
My heart is so full 🥺 I’m so grateful that my words make you feel seen. It is my biggest hope when I write and share that these ideas and perspectives will help someone, even if that someone is just me—but to know that they resonated so deeply with another soul who has walked a similar path invokes so much gratitude in me.
Thank you for the generosity of your words 🫶🏻
My grandson has severe ADHD and was having almost daily PDA-like meltdowns when he was 3,4 and 5. Luckily his dad, my son-in-law is GENTLE and understands his son. They sought help and got good advice, and did the research. He's coming along, as are we: we give choices, and almost adult-like explanations about why he ought to do as we say. As grandma, I do laundry and housework for them when I babysit his napping younger sister so that they (my daughter and son-in-law) can reserve their inner resources to being effective parents. Thanks for this honest, heart-breaking (yet hopeful) essay.
This is so beautiful to read. Choices and adult-like explanations were everything I needed as a kid—it would have made such a different to have been met with patience and understanding instead of dismissive control. Thank you for sharing this, and thank you for your kind words.
OOF. GenX late diagnosed AuDHD here and I feel this so hard. I grew up in the 70s pre-Dobson with parents who were very much parenting from the 1940s authoritarian playbook. Finding and reparenting that feisty nerdy little girl again. I raised my own neurospicy daughter very differently, gave her as many appropriate choices as possible, and she is feisty and thriving as a young adult. ❤️
I think it’s so beautiful to be able to give your daughter the childhood, the support, the understanding that we didn’t receive. I’m so sorry that this was your experience too.